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I am 29 and I am working in an architect’s office as a bachelor architect.

You received the Palucki Method in the beginning of November 2020. How long is that ago?

Almost 2 months.

What was the situation for which you were seeking help?

I will see really traumatized and I also had several diagnoses. I had an eating disorder, I have also injured myself, I have suffered a very awesome from suicidal thinking, also ahead Panic attacks, partially I couldn’t even leave the house due to all the fears. Actually, a normal life wasn’t really possible for me anymore. Actually, I have only just battled myself into work and into university and that was it. There was actually no Quality of life anymore. Then there were physical things adding on to this, I was diagnosed with an epilepsy, I had many food intolerances and wasn’t able to eat anything in parts

Had you already done treatments before and how long?

Yes, since I was 16, I was basically continuously in therapeutic and psychiatric treatment. Almost every year I was in psychiatry for longer times, sometimes in locked ward. These were these were stays from two weeks after six months. I also did a behavioral therapy. Also, in-patient trauma therapy. But all this has always only stabilized just a bit.

What did you work on with the Palucki Method and how?

We have mainly worked with the traumas. We had done very detailed anamnesis first. Ilona hand focused on the most important aspects. It was mainly about the early childhood injuries and also the things in my youth, because I also moved into a children’s home and also the entire story after that. Actually, we looked at my entire life story together. We looked at connections, what is related to what. Yes, and that we half worked through bit by bit during the healing work.

What were the underlying traumatic experiences?

My dad has beaten me very often and also put me into confinement and chased me and also always threatened to kill me. I had no backing in the family. My mother was not there for me either. She has actually rather increased the heat. Also, with my siblings the contact was not so

Tight actually. There was no support for anything I did, there was no backing. I was completely alone and exposed to everything that happened.

How long did you work together? 

We have worked 10 days.

What has happened in you through the Palucki Method?

Already just threw the breathing, we had started with the breathing… there I had already noticed how a space is developing… I have sensed for the first time that… even I… have a kind of space! And that there is also a lot of security (alternative translation: certainty; from German: Sicherheit; Note from the editor). And then a lot of fears we’re already gone, I already during the work I never had fear and actually always trust. Through the breathing I was always able to feel it distinctly. And a lot has already become better. After each session I was always totally relieved. It was always a huge relief. I had also felt feelings of happiness and like a fundamental sense of trust. I also always knew exactly that the trauma was just gone… that what we had processed… that the trauma was just gone. I have really felt that. It was like a huge burden that was suddenly gone. I also knew that it’s not coming back… just gone.

How can one feel that a trauma is gone?

For me it’s a little miracle in fact. I can’t completely retrace it. You just work through each single theme and sort of process them and you realize that all the symptoms that belong to it are suddenly just gone somehow. I mean I have also lost my eating disorder. It’s just somehow completely gone. And also, my fears – as soon as the trauma was gone all the things that belong to it were just gone as well. Like I said, I can’t really describe it, it was just like a miracle. Like a rebirth almost… a new life somehow… freedom without all of the ballast.

What about the other symptoms you have mentioned earlier?

The anxiety is significantly less. I have no problems of leaving the house anymore. It’s a bit of a pity with corona, I wasn’t able to try two participate in my ass events, oh but I would like to try it and I think it’s not going to be a problem anymore. I have become more self-sufficient, more confident, I can decide things on my own, take care of all the stuff on my own. I have much more energy, also because I’m much more relaxed. I don’t have to worry so much anymore… it’s just possible that I can take care of things. The eating disorder is completely gone. I always had phases of anorexia. It’s completely gone. I gained 8 kilos of weight and still feel very well in my body. Yes, everything is different. I can feel my body entirely. And that gives me a lot of security, also in my day-to-day life

You had mentioned some other symptoms earlier?

The pressure to self-mutilate I don’t have at all since then (laughs). No more cramp attacks. If I get any kind of panic or anything, I can take care of it by myself quite quickly yell, because now I… I’m using the breathing for it as well. But I am also thinking very different now. I can think of much more positively now and can react much more quickly. I realize quite early, and when I think this then that will happen. I can just intervene and transform it positively. And then I succeed a relatively quickly to get back to a right track and that I can help myself quickly.

Following to work together on site there is two months old post treatment care. What happens there?

It is very important to have this post treatment care. You really come back completely changed. You have also done bodywork. Even that already… you move completely different; the people suddenly react to you differently. My environment perceives me differently. I perceive my environment differently as well. Before I didn’t know what it’s like to lead a regular life, because I was actually always ill, always burdened actually. In the beginning it was really important for me that Ilona was there for me. She explained to me that it is completely normal that sometimes one is nervous. Because I immediately was afraid that it will be just like before again doubt, but that wasn’t the case. I just had to learn what it means to it lead a regular life. For that reason, this companionship was just really important that there is someone who has experienced that with you, because it is really crazy with that in the short amount of time… that you achieve such successes… that you just have someone that accompanies you, because no one else can understand that. In my environment I often come across people that just don’t want to believe it. … but that’s the way it is. Well, I couldn’t believe it myself in the beginning. (laughs)

When something else appears, you can still… we have worked a few times together, did the method together… after it, it was OK again. I had a small backlash, because I had a contact with my sister, which was quite straining and which had set me back a bit. Then we had worked a few times together and pretty quickly I came back to the point as it was when I came back from France

In your case even physical problems have disappeared along the trauma healing?

Yes, and I feel really healthy in my body. Yes… there’s actually nothing (laughs). I can eat everything, can do everything, I am fit, I have energy. I actually don’t have any illnesses, no inexplicable pains. I am much more relaxed, the body is much more relaxed, not so uptight and tense.

Are you a different person now?

I’m not a completely different person, but I certainly have been gifted with a new life. Certainly that. Much more positive, much freer, yeah, without pain….